Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
