I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
