I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
