It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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