i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
