So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
time to smoke my breakfast
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
