My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize