Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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