So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize