I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.