i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs