his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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