HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
