Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
