Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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