just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
