There was a lot of him and a little penis
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need water and some morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize