I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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