I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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