can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
