hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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