i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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