im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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