guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize