why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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