my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
