im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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