Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
