In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
