Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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