Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He better not be in your backpack
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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