You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize