My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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