Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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