If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.