Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.