does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
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They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.