So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
