I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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