you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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