TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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