You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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