Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize