the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
