Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she pinky promised me she was 18
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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