ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize