Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.