Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things