just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.