You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever