70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused