I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful