Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.