I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.