Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..