Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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