Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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