So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
