Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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