fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
